There is too much to my story to start at the beginning… so let me start from today, and work backwards. My coach tells me that I need to get her my pictures – you know my before and after pictures. Well, the first problem with that is that I didn't take a "before" picture.

Embrace the Hill:  "Get up early to run? Get up early to exercise? Maaaaaaaaaaan That's CRAY! REEAL CRAY! You see a doctor about that?" You ever have a conversation like that with yourself? I do everyday. It takes more effort than this body or mind wants to put out that early in the morning. HOWEVER, I don't pay them any attention.

What do you say when you're told to "Give yourself permission to be ok..."? A simple phrase that's easy to interpret and comprehend when heard or read, right? Of course it is. But go figure I'd be the one to sit and ponder this for hours...MANY HOURS! I was feeling so broken and hurt that I heard it but, I wasn't sure I was understanding the message in the words I was hearing.

This is me.The me I always wanted to be! The me I knew was inside but seemed so hard to find. As a child (6 or 7) I remember a friend's pool party- everyone was wearing cute bathing suits. All of a sudden, the modest bikini I had worn felt like it was calling all attention to me because I was the little chubby kid and after all, even if you were a child you still needed to be 'skinny' to wear one of THOSE.  So began my lifelong battle with food, emotional eating and my continuous weight battle.

Ever been in a place where you've felt trapped? Well I have. More lately than ever. I work from home full time, have 2 part time side jobs and live in a small apartment with my 9 month old son, Carter. Often times I find myself glancing out the window as the day goes by, as if I'm in a jail cell and the ever growing list of tasks at hand starts to overwhelm me. It got to a point where it was really starting to weigh on me on a daily basis.